| The Dance of Intimacy - by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. - Audio Book CDBrand New  (3 CD - 3 hours):   About The Dance of Intimacy    "All beginnings are lovely:' a French proverb reminds us, but intimacy is not about that initial "Velcro stage" of relationships. It is only    when we stay in relationships over time—whether by necessity or    choice—that our capacity for intimacy is truly put to the test. 
 In this book, Dr. Lerner takes a careful look at those relationships  where intimacy is most challenged by too much distance, too much  intensity, or simply   too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic  terms Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these key  relationships—be   they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed  sister, a   difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover,  a dying   parent, or a family member rom whom we are cut off.
 The Dance of Intimacy teaches   us  about "the differences that make a difference"—the changes we can   make in one or two significant relationships that will change   everything—including our capacity for intimacy and selfhood over the long haul.    About Harriet Lerner Ph.D. Harriet Lerner was born in Brooklyn, New York, on November 30, 1944. She                   is the second of two daughters of Rose and Archie Goldhor. Her   parents                 were first-generation Americans, both born to   Russian-Jewish immigrant                 parents. They were high school   graduates who held jobs they did                 for paychecks but   avocations that brought them great joy.
 Archie's real love was his shop in the basement                 of their house. "He could build anything", says Lerner.                   "He made all of our furniture, along with toys, lamps   and jigsaw                 puzzles. He loved rosewood, classical music,   The New York Times,                 and peace and quiet. He had a   peace-at-any-price philosophy, which                 I did not abide   by."
 
 Lerner's mother, Rose, worked in an office, but her passion was                   art. When she was in her late fifties, she started working for   artists                 she admired; in exchange, she asked for artwork,   thus creating an                 art gallery in her home. Rose, who   died recently at the age of 94,                 left her daughters a   wonderful collection of paintings and sculpture                 and,   more important, an enduring love of art and beauty.
 
 Lerner's sister, Susan, five years her senior, is a biologist who    divides her time between Cambridge, Massachusetts and Tamworth, New    Hampshire. The two sisters have collaborated in writing award-wining    children's books: What's So Terrible About Swallowing                 an Apple Seed (HarperCollins) and Franny                 B. Kranny, There's A Bird in Your Hair! (HarperCollins)
 
 Growing up, Harriet and Susan  spent weekends at the Brooklyn                 Botanical   Garden, the Brooklyn Public Library and the Brooklyn Museum.                   "These places were free and just a subway token away."
 
 Lerner's mother had an unwavering belief in her daughters and strong                   principles about how to raise children. In Harriet's words:
 
 "Even during the hardest economic times my mother, Rose, made                   sure that Susan and I had four things that she believed were   essential                 to our later success:
 
 1. Good shoes (I don't mean                 stylish)
 2. A firm, quality mattress
 3. A top pediatrician (none                 other than Doctor Benjamin Spock);
 4. A therapist
 
 Unlike                 other parents of the day who considered therapy   to be a last resort                 of the mentally ill, my mother   thought it was a learning experience.                 She put me in   therapy before I was three, after obtaining a health                   insurance policy that provided weekly therapy sessions for one dollar.                   I later joked that my mother would send me to a therapist   if I came                 home from school with anything less than a B   plus. I was exaggerating,                 but only a little bit. "
 
 Her mother's belief in therapy undoubtedly contributed to Lerner's                   career choice. She decided to become a clinical psychologist   before                 finishing kindergarten - a decision she never   veered from.
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