The Dance of Intimacy - by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. - Audio Book CD
Brand New (3 CD - 3 hours):
About The Dance of Intimacy
"All beginnings are lovely:' a French proverb reminds us, but intimacy is not about that initial "Velcro stage" of relationships. It is only when we stay in relationships over time—whether by necessity or choice—that our capacity for intimacy is truly put to the test.
In this book, Dr. Lerner takes a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic terms Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these key relationships—be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or a family member rom whom we are cut off.
The Dance of Intimacy teaches us about "the differences that make a difference"—the changes we can make in one or two significant relationships that will change everything—including our capacity for intimacy and selfhood over the long haul.
About Harriet Lerner Ph.D.
Harriet Lerner was born in Brooklyn, New York, on November 30, 1944. She is the second of two daughters of Rose and Archie Goldhor. Her parents were first-generation Americans, both born to Russian-Jewish immigrant parents. They were high school graduates who held jobs they did for paychecks but avocations that brought them great joy.
Archie's real love was his shop in the basement of their house. "He could build anything", says Lerner. "He made all of our furniture, along with toys, lamps and jigsaw puzzles. He loved rosewood, classical music, The New York Times, and peace and quiet. He had a peace-at-any-price philosophy, which I did not abide by."
Lerner's mother, Rose, worked in an office, but her passion was art. When she was in her late fifties, she started working for artists she admired; in exchange, she asked for artwork, thus creating an art gallery in her home. Rose, who died recently at the age of 94, left her daughters a wonderful collection of paintings and sculpture and, more important, an enduring love of art and beauty.
Lerner's sister, Susan, five years her senior, is a biologist who divides her time between Cambridge, Massachusetts and Tamworth, New Hampshire. The two sisters have collaborated in writing award-wining children's books: What's So Terrible About Swallowing an Apple Seed (HarperCollins) and Franny B. Kranny, There's A Bird in Your Hair! (HarperCollins)
Growing up, Harriet and Susan spent weekends at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, the Brooklyn Public Library and the Brooklyn Museum. "These places were free and just a subway token away."
Lerner's mother had an unwavering belief in her daughters and strong principles about how to raise children. In Harriet's words:
"Even during the hardest economic times my mother, Rose, made sure that Susan and I had four things that she believed were essential to our later success:
1. Good shoes (I don't mean stylish)
2. A firm, quality mattress
3. A top pediatrician (none other than Doctor Benjamin Spock);
4. A therapist
Unlike other parents of the day who considered therapy to be a last resort of the mentally ill, my mother thought it was a learning experience. She put me in therapy before I was three, after obtaining a health insurance policy that provided weekly therapy sessions for one dollar. I later joked that my mother would send me to a therapist if I came home from school with anything less than a B plus. I was exaggerating, but only a little bit. "
Her mother's belief in therapy undoubtedly contributed to Lerner's career choice. She decided to become a clinical psychologist before finishing kindergarten - a decision she never veered from. |
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